I stared down into Ben’s eyes. He was out of it - he was looking up into nothingness, completely enveloped by pleasure.

I was wearing nothing but a small tight bright green scarf around my neck; Ben liked it for some reason. Ben was lying down on the bed, with me above him in a sitting position with my legs on either side of him. I moved my pelvis up and down, stimulating him, and me as well. Ben’s hands were placed on my waist, mine were on his arms just above his elbows.

I could tell he was almost there, he took a long breath in, and then came in me. He released his breath throughout the last few spurts. I went all the way down on him and started to beat myself off while Ben was cooling down below me. It didn’t take a lot - I orgasmed and then came all over his chest. We looked into each others’ eyes and smiled when I was done. I lifted myself off of him and then laid down on the right side of the bed. Ben got up and grabbed a towel that I purposefully left on the bedside table and cleaned himself off. I grabbed one on the other bedside table and put it under my hips.

“Did you like that?” I asked after he laid down, turned to face me. “Yeah, did you?” He conversed.

“It’s not my favorite, but I liked the whole dynamic.” I smiled at him, he smiled back at me. He took his left hand and ran the back of his palm down the side of my body ending at my right hip. He looked at my body, at my scars. He didn’t ask anything but I could tell he was curious. “Curious about my scars?” I asked, “Yeah,” he responded, “You don’t have to say anything though, It’s not my right to ask.”

“No,” I said, “I should be honest with you.” Ben waited for me to talk. “There was this boy I liked last year, his name was Anthony, from the basketball team…” He kept listening without changing his semi-lustful gaze. “He shot himself over the summer…” Ben still barely reacted, “I ended up cutting myself for a few months.” Ben started to cry a bit, “I’m better now, but those three months I felt worse than anything imaginable.”

Ben moved closer to me, now visibly shook my my words, and crying a lot. He put his arm around me, and kissed me.

I started to cry with him.