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Kyle walked into the kitchen and sat at the other end of the table I was sitting at. He had no idea why I was there. He looked at me, "Did you sleep?"
"No." I said.
He then looked around, "You cleaned up."
"Yes." I said.
"...Okay." Kyle said.
This whole time my hands were under the table holding a wrapped box that was about a foot by nine inches by four inches. I put it on the table and slid it to him.
"What's this?" Kyle asked.
"Your birthday present." I said.
"My birthday is in a week." Kyle pointed out.
"You have lost... a few days." I said. He understood that as being to alcohol.
Kyle grabbed the present and moved it square in front of him. He looked at me, very confused about the whole presentation of the thing with me not sleeping and sitting at the table very ominously. He tore off the wrapping paper, and opened the cardboard box it was concealing.
"It's a bunch of papers." Kyle said.
He took the first page out. "Deed." he read.
"To this house." I said.
Kyle looked up at me. "You're giving me this house."
"Yes." I answered.
"It's worth two and a quarter million."
I didn't tell him that. "Yes." I answered
"Really?" Kyle asked.
"Yes." I said.
Kyle looked in my eyes for a second. "Thank you." He said.
"All taxes and service charges will be paid automatically from an account I set up for the next thirty years. Look at the next paper."
Kyle just did that. "A bank statement for an account for 10 thousand dollars."
"That account is one of two in your name. That will receive 10 thousand every month for sixty years, adjusted for inflation from a trust I set up. At two percent inflation and three percent interest, I calculated the exact amount it needs to start: two million, three hundred two thousand, nine hundred fifty-six dollars and fourteen cents.
"Wow." Kyle said.
He got the next paper, it was information about the trust, which he put on top of the other ones. The next paper was, "A car title?" Kyle asked.
"That is what it says." I informed.
Kyle decided to look at the details later and assumed I got him something good. The next paper was another car title, he put that aside as well.
Under that was another box that perfectly fit inside the bigger one. He removed it by the two handle-holes on the top, put it on the table, moving aside the now empty big box, and opened the smaller box. Inside was a pen and three sets of keys just loosely in the box: one to a new Dodge Challenger, an also new Chevy Tahoe, and two keys on a key-ring that looked really complicated, and secure.
There was nothing else for Kyle to open so he looked up at me, not knowing what to say.
"I am also giving you about 500 thousand worth of furniture, electronics, clothing... everything."
"Where's the clothes?" Kyle asked. "I put it in the master bedroom. You can move in there now."
Kyle kept looking into my eyes. "You did this all overnight." Kyle realized. "That's why you didn't sleep." He looked impressed at me.
"How did you get two cars in the middle of the night?"
"I honestly don't remember"
"How much clothes did you get?"
"Six thousand dollars worth, all perfectly fitting you. I also got you tailored suits."
"In the middle of the night."
"You know that." I said.
Kyle realized something else, "You didn't have to do this overnight."
"I did if I wanted to be in time for your birthday."
"Yes but you could have done it way before somehow." Kyle paused for dramatic effect, "What did I say to you last night."
"Something that made me change my mind of when I wanted to do this."
"And you're not going to tell me."
Kyle started chuckling a moment later. "You're literally just giving me like five million dollars?"
"Yes." I said. "You do need to sign the deed and car titles, though."
Kyle paused again, "You know I never ask where you get your money."
I turned my head up to show I was listening.
Kyle chuckled again, then grabbed the pen and started to sign what he needed to.