2020 02 26: Dinner

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Ben looked really cute in a suit, and somehow didn't seem out of place in a sea of older people. He was looking at me almost emotionless.

Ben slowly started to take a drink of some scotch that took up a fifth of the glass; he looked off to his right when he was doing it.

But anyway: Ben looked really cute in a suit: a mix of a blue button-down, a slightly dark gray tie, and tailored dark gray pants and jacket. The almost obscene largeness of the table between us made him look smaller and cuter.

"Why are you staring at me?" Ben asked.

"You look cute." I responded.

"Oh, thanks." He thanked me.

I kept staring at him. He giggled. I giggled back.

"Sorry, I just feel weird tonight."

"Oh, what's on your mind?" Ben asked.

"I don't know, I just feel weird." I said.

"Are you tired or something?" Ben asked, "We could leave and do something else."

"No, I'm just, feeling awkward - it's so hard to describe, it's somewhere in between stress and drowsiness and... sensory overload?" I tried to describe.

"I'm feeling weird too." Ben said. He took another sip of his scotch before continuing, "I feel like I have a crush on you." he said.

I looked at him for a second. I felt alarmed for not feeling alarmed for some reason, "I thought that wasn't possible." I said.

"Neither did I" Ben continued, "But, I made a promise to myself two years ago that whatever I am, I would be honest about it; and... this is me being honest about it."

I paused for no reason other than I thought it was proper. Ben drank a bit more, which brought me attention to my glass which I had only taken one sip of. "Is this just now?" I asked.

"Yeah. Just like, sitting here with you, just knowing that... just knowing what we do together somehow transfers over into romance." Ben explained, "I don't know why. Maybe it's because of how much you give me, how much you respect me, or just because I'm gay - I don't know."

I drank some of my scotch - It was the best I had ever had.

"I'm gonna let you kiss me now." Ben said, "I wanna see what it's like."

"Okay." I said.

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